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Champion
 
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Champion
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Ian Sturrock (6/25/2008)
No subject is not fit for humour.You can count on my vote
RL: Stuart Maher
PD: Stuart Maher in a frock coat
LT: Stuart maher in orange hi-vis
Omega: Stuart Maher in a rat mask
BUTT: Stuart Maher in various crap costumes
EOS: Stuart Maher writing plot EOS - Book now, thank me later. I was going to copyright my posts... but then remembered this is an LRP forum!
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I do talk a good fight
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"Accidental LRPer" is good -- thanks, Ed, nice one.
Is there a term for people who repeatedly come to LRP games just to get pissed in a costume in a field?
"Kilted Bear" sounds like it might be prejudicial.
"Serial Accidental LRPer" just doesn't sound plausible -- once may be an accident, twice is getting suspicious, but three or four times a year for several years running?!?
Back to "Healer Girlfriend" for a moment -- I don't think its original usage is sexist, per se, though it is dismissive in other ways. But I can see how the phrase can easily be misused, and thus become sexist. So, yeah, "Accidental LRPer" is superior.
http://www.hyboriantales.com
PD: Ghostdance ("The most irritating curse I've ever encountered" -- NPC played by H.)
Riftworld: Rossar Kuug ("Clearly mad, because he thinks he's a Com-Trow Skirmisher" - Aela)
Hyborian Tales: Crew, cook, dogsbody, general labourer, toilet cleaner ("Dangerously overoptimistic ref" -- Tom Nowell)
Otherwise usually crew ("Quite spry & fit, & willing to wear a big costume & run around a lot" -- various event organisers)
"My other oversized foam weapon is THE LORD" -- Questionable Content
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Heroic Knight
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Ian Sturrock (6/25/2008)
It depends on context:
If the "healer girlfriend" isn't particularly enthusiastic about LRP, but has been persuaded to come along, or has decided to come along, & then been shoe-horned into the role of healer because "we need one / no-one else wants to play the Cleric / it'll be easier for you / you won't get hit", then I think the term is accurate -- and, frankly, the slightly dismissive tone it's used in is probably not entirely inaccurate. I don't really mind if people come along to LRP events without entirely wanting to, & without really engaging with the other players and/or plot; but they don't really enhance my game, either, so I don't feel that bothered about being a bit dismissive of them. That's not to say I'll dismiss them SOLELY because they happen to be someone's girlfriend & happen to be playing a healer; just if they're clearly not engaging with the game (and possibly worse, disengaging their partner from the game, either actively, or just by their presence), not actually roleplaying, and probably, if anything, making mine & others' games worse... I will dismiss them. I may even shun them, or scorn them, depending on mood.
OTOH, I don't think it's appropriate to use it to dismiss everyone who happens to be (a) female and (b) playing a surgical/healing type role.
As long as they're playing a role, I really don't mind what that role is. What I object to is the presence of someone who is there solely to
(a) Provide 6 heals to their boyfriend
(b) Get pissed and then grumpy
(c) Talk OOC incessantly
(d) Get their boyfriend (and/or anyone else who'll listen) also talking OOC incessantly (and I'll object to those people constantly being OOC too... but I will find different insults to use than "healer girlfriend").
(e) Constantly complain about being too cold
(f) Insist that boyfriend / lift / whole group / whoever all leave the event early because it's too cold / it looks like there's a storm coming / I'm bored / I hate your hobby / I hate your friends
Etc.
So, er, yeah, it probably is an offensive term. I shall strive to use it solely to cause offence. I shall probably not use it on any actual "healer girlfriends" (i.e. crap & unenthusiastic non-LRPers dragged along to LRP events) because they wouldn't understand how offensive it is, so its value would be wasted. But I'll happily use it as a short-hand to describe the kind of phenomenon I'm referring to in this post.
To those of you who'd never heard it before -- excellent! Long may you continue to go to games where all the players (male and female) are there because they're enjoying themselves, or think they might enjoy themselves, rather than on sufferance.
To those of you who find it offensive -- Jerry Sadowitz referred to the Comedy Tax. This is the price you pay for laughing at jokes that offend other people -- sometimes jokes offend you, too. No subject is not fit for humour.Top post and hit the nail on the head. peeps all over the country go to music weekends with said partner and have a shit time cause the partner ain't into the tunes being played and couldn't bare to be away from them for 2 days Guys and Galls that bring partners along with out realy letting them know what their letting themselves in for! YOU CAN LEAVE THEM AT HOME!!! at the end of the day all your doing is putting presure on your own relationship, ruining both your weekends and pissing of your buddies! go have a wicked time slotting bad guys, then take em camping another time! Never actually heard the term in the field myself either lol but have seen the affects loads of times!
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Wag
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theoxfordgirl (6/25/2008)
My uncle Barry can be as polite, friendly and non-confrontational as he likes - and often is - when talking about how the "nigger Jew queers" are taking over the White House(1); that doesn't make his statement any less likely to cause offense in people like me.
Probably there are statements you make which people like uncle Barry might _take offence_to - is that a concern? What efforts do you take to avoid that? Do you think people who share those beliefs might find it offensive to see them dismissed as 'a comedy speculative example' - or is it ok because you (i) believe them to be wrong (ii) know that they are in a minority in student-filled areas such as this?
theoxfordgirl (6/25/2008)
They also imply attitude-complexes that often go hand-in-hand with an immediate reduction in my personal safety when in the company of the sexist in question.
That's a fairly extreme accusation - you're asserting that the people on this board who have used the term 'healer-girlfriend' are actually (significantly?) more likely to (physically?) assault you in person? That's fairly extreme accusation - I'm skeptical that you have reasonable evidence for suggesting that these people really are more to commit assault.
Marios
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Wag
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| Marios, you would quite cheerfully argue that the wearing of swastikas in no way indicated rascist views being held by the wearer If someone makes an inherently sexist comment they are likely to hold sexist views, those views almost always include the idea of women being of lower status than men. It doesn't take a huge leap to see where Oxford Girl's concerns come from.
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Heroic Knight
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Ian Sturrock (6/25/2008)
Is there a term for people who repeatedly come to LRP games just to get pissed in a costume in a field?
"Kilted Bear" sounds like it might be prejudicial.
"Serial Accidental LRPer" just doesn't sound plausible -- once may be an accident, twice is getting suspicious, but three or four times a year for several years running?!?
Back to "Healer Girlfriend" for a moment -- I don't think its original usage is sexist, per se, though it is dismissive in other ways. But I can see how the phrase can easily be misused, and thus become sexist. So, yeah, "Accidental LRPer" is superior.Ian - I started referring to these people as 'Extras' some years ago. It's one of my favourite derogatory terms for LRPers. I also like Accidental LRPer, and will start using the term asap. Like Ed, I'll eagerly await the claim that this originally started at Peckforton...
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Champion
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Marios (6/25/2008)
[quote]Probably there are statements you make which people like uncle Barry might _take offence_to - is that a concern?
Yes, but only inasmuch as my uncle Barry is armed. In situations where he is unarmed or does not currently know my address, my concern for offending him drops massively. The worst he can do under those circumstances is call me an asshole and possibly disinherit me; since I don't particularly give a damn about his opinion of me and he has already spent most of his savings on liquor and guns, neither of those are behaviours I'm actively anxious to avoid.
Marios (6/25/2008)
[quote]Do you think people who share those beliefs might find it offensive to see them dismissed as 'a comedy speculative example' - or is it ok because you (i) believe them to be wrong (ii) know that they are in a minority in student-filled areas such as this?
I don't wish to repeat myself on this count too many times, but I have made no advocation that any enforcement of avoidance of phrases which I (and others) find sexist should occur. Rather, we'll just think the users of such offensive phrases are wankers. In my particular case, I'll probably respond by calling the offender a twat. They're welcome to be offended by that, or not. I certainly have no problem with offending sexists; if sexists have no problem with offending me, I'm sure they will continue to use whatever terms they choose to describe female LARPers and females in general.
It's not, of course, just about offensive phrases. It's about the complex of male privilege-based assumptions and dismissive behaviours which go along with such offensive phrases. Barry doesn't bother me only because he uses the phrase "nigger Jew queers"; that phrase is also a particularly useful tag or filter which can be used to identify people whose other behaviours tend towards the discriminatory, the repressive and the prejudicial.
Marios (6/25/2008)
[quote]That's a fairly extreme accusation - you're asserting that the people on this board who have used the term 'healer-girlfriend' are actually (significantly?) more likely to (physically?) assault you in person?
No, I'm not, and you know I'm not.
I'm asserting that people who display sexist attitudes are (anecdotally, if not also statistically) more likely to be willing to commit physical assault or sexual harrassment, of varying degrees, against me - and then try to "laugh it off" if I complain, tell them to stop or indicate that certain behaviours (like, for example, hugging me without permission) is unacceptable to me.
I'm not trying to use my sense of personal danger as a justification for an attempt to censor others' speech. I think I've quite clearly stated that, several times. I'm using my experiences of being assaulted and harrassed in the past by men who verbally displayed similar sexist attitudes to that implied by the term in question(1), and my consequent prejudices(2) following those experiences, to justify my choice to call people who use the term arseholes.
Casual sexism makes me nervous about my personal safety; it really is that simple. I am by far not the only woman of my acquaintance for whom this is the case. My own reaction to being made nervous about my personal safety is to adopt a defensive verbal and physical stance, and be ready to react appropriately to any actual physical danger. Other women's reactions may be quite different.
Please bear in mind that when I call you a twat for calling the new girl a "healer girlfriend", the new girl may be being put off LARP for life; and the not-so-new girl standing next to her may not be so willing to vocalise as me, but may nevertheless mark you out as someone they aren't ever interested in interacting with.
(1) Correlation is not causality.
(2) Yes. I am prejudiced against sexists. I am not trying to argue for any sort of superior abstract moral rectitude, as I hope I've made clear by now.
EDITED TO ADD: Also, Marios, changing the subject just because me and Barry have cottoned on to the fact that you and your kind are trying to take over the White House is a very poor show. You can't hide any more.
--
PD: Then: Some dead Wemic, some dead Puritan, Peggy Novak. Now: Samael den Shemhazai of the Sephirot.
White City: Then: Cpt. Ambriel Chermes, Broken Guard. Now: Sir Cordelia of the Sh | | | |