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Prodigal
 
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| How offensive is the term Healer Girlfriend (or Healer Boyfriend)? The stereotype, as far as I know is this: Some genius decides to take their partner to a LRP event, but rather than carefully talk them through the character creation process and try to introduce their lover to the hobby in a gentle way, they selfishly pick a character that is of most benefit to themselves. The result is a rather miserable looking player who appears to exist soley for the benefit of their partner. (And for the record, I first heard the term when I started playing Vampire back in 1998 or so, and I've encountered the term in a lot of places, which implies, sadly, that it happens all to often.)
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Champion
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its not offecncive its an observation
www.mandalastudios.co.uk www.kangena.co.uk RL - Mark (Coventry)
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Prodigal
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Prodigal
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I'd say its pretty offensive, for the reasons Ed lists. If anyone ever called me 'healer girlfriend' I would probably laugh in their face.
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Champion
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| there are 2 situations here 1) you are at the event solely as somone girlfriend, and have been told to play a healer as its easy/ usefull and you wont get in the way, thus you are a healer girlfrind so its an accuratice discription in the terms we understand it 2) you are a compatant person, thus they are worng, and the term is missapplied, so you laugh at them thus not offended, its works for me
www.mandalastudios.co.uk www.kangena.co.uk RL - Mark (Coventry)
CP - Urtsi (Ael) [Ex Head Weapons Checker/ Ref]
Mandala - Wookie (Ref/ Props)
PD - Wookie (Ref)
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Champion
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It offends me in most of its applied contexts (pace my misreading on that Maelstrom thread, which isn't relevant here).
It offends me because it's sexist; I have never heard "healer boyfriend". (Naturally plenty of people who have heard the term will now respond; but let's be honest, which is more common?) It also carries a nasty little undertone of "LARPer girls are only good for supporting/assisting the Real Men".
It offends me because of the implication that "serious" LARPers are there for the pagga, and that playing a character who isn't primarily a fighter makes you a less valid player.
It offends me, mostly, because its most common usage in my experience is to utterly dismiss a (usually female) individual as an accessory to their partner, a non-entity whose only identity or valid existence in the game is as a corollary to someone else.
Whenever I hear someone comment "healer girlfriend" about a new player to any system, it makes my blood boil; whether or not their character has been partly or largely influenced by their existing-player partner (who is presumably in a good position to offer advice on a character that will be fun for them), whether or not they're starting with a primarily non-combat character, that says absolutely nothing about their ability to roleplay, fight, politick, involve themselves in character development - and more importantly, to learn to do any of these things as well as, or better than, the "fighter boyfriend".
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White City: Then: Cpt. Ambriel Chermes, Broken Guard. Now: Sir Cordelia of the Shining Order.
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Champion
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theoxfordgirl (6/24/2008)
It offends me in most of its applied contexts (pace my misreading on that Maelstrom thread, which isn't relevant here).now it may be that im pretty much im possibal to offend, insults are for fun wheer i live, so you have to take this as just my distorted view, but... It offends me because it's sexist; I have never heard "healer boyfriend". (Naturally plenty of people who have heard the term will now respond; but let's be honest, which is more common?) It also carries a nasty little undertone of "LARPer girls are only good for supporting/assisting the Real Men". i have heard healer boyfriend, but the equilevent is fighter boyfried, a guy that has been dragged allong by his lrper GF, and has been told to play a bodyguard, as its easy he wont have to understand much, and he can stay close tho the chick for good IC reasons
It offends me because of the implication that "serious" LARPers are there for the pagga, and that playing a character who isn't primarily a fighter makes you a less valid player.
but thats you projecting a meaning onto it, its never in my experiece been use to say somone playing a healer isnt a valid rle its a comment on somone who isnt playing it as a valid role, and is playing a healer coz they have been told to. and not making the choce is a bad thing tm It offends me, mostly, because its most common usage in my experience is to utterly dismiss a (usually female) individual as an accessory to their partner, a non-entity whose only identity or valid existence in the game is as a corollary to someone else. theer are much bettre ways to dismiss people, i see it as a way to entertainingly label people whio may need some support in breaking out from the shadow of their other half and actualy engage in the game on thie own merit, somone who isnt doing this is a healer girlfrind, not a girl who plays a healer
Whenever I hear someone comment "healer girlfriend" about a new player to any system, it makes my blood boil; whether or not their character has been partly or largely influenced by their existing-player partner (who is presumably in a good position to offer advice on a character that will be fun for them), whether or not they're starting with a primarily non-combat character, that says absolutely nothing about their ability to roleplay, fight, politick, involve themselves in character development - and more importantly, to learn to do any of these things as well as, or better than, the "fighter boyfriend".
again i think you have implied usege that isnt teher heer, buit i have to work so ill try and comback to this 1 later
www.mandalastudios.co.uk www.kangena.co.uk RL - Mark (Coventry)
CP - Urtsi (Ael) [Ex Head Weapons Checker/ Ref]
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PD - Wookie (Ref)
GF - Organiser
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Heroic Knight
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| That's interesting. Whenever I've heard it used I've tended to see it as an insult to the boyfriend of said 'Healer Girlfriend'. I've met more than a few girls who have been dragged to LRP events (rather than asking/wanting to go) who've had a rubbish time. That makes the boyfriend crap...not the girlfriend! I've also known lots of strong female players (including during my early years), so I tend to asume that girls won't be incompetent or useless because they're girls...of course, they may be proven to be incompetent or useless because they're incompetent or useless. I don't think I've used the term, or heard it used in years - it's not been relevant to me or my roleplaying peers, and I haven't noticed it around me.
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